LEARN TO BE PATIENT

If your mom or dad call you 'Bill' and your name is 'John', stop right there!  Your loved one is doing his/her best.  It does no good to say things like, "Now mom, you KNOW my name is John"--a reprimand.  Instead:  stifle yourself and change the subject.  Many folks in my over 300 book signings have related this issue to me and others in their presence.  The truth is, your loved one has become someone else since getting dementia, and therefore YOU have to become someone else.  It takes more thought now about how to deal with your loved one on a day-to-day basis.  It is frustrating to you, the caregiver, and takes dedication to make this necessary change.  And, yes, it hurts.  But, you have no choice.  Try to schedule a few events (like a short walk, a drive for some ice cream, a look at some photos, to name a few) to give you a feeling of empowerment over your situation.  Keep it simple and keep it short are a couple of recommendations.  I cared for my 85 year old mother for two years and found that planning each week out made me feel as if I were in charge.  I'm not saying you, as my readers, should follow suit, but just give it a try.